On Becoming a Spiritual Man

I recently asked my beautiful wife, Jenny, a question:

“What are you interested in me writing about?”

She told me to write about “becoming a man of faith” (or something like that).

To be fair, I think I’m mediocre at best. I don’t really think I’m anything special. Yet, I can still humbly say I know who I am.

DISCLAIMER:

This is in no way a replacement for reading the Bible.
The Bible contains everything you might need to grow in your faith.
Podcasts, books, newsletters, and worship music written by Maverick City Music are all optional and helpful tools to growth.

I hope this can be a small tool you send to any young men in your life who are looking for a secondary blueprint to becoming a Man of God.

This one’s for you, Jenny.

My Three Favorite Biblical Characters

“Where should I start?”

Many young and new Christians have this thought when figuring out HOW to read the Bible.

Many will say to start in John; others will praise the book of Proverbs. While I may suggest Song of Solomon to a newly engaged couple, the ones I love the most are:

1 & 2 Samuel
Luke & Acts

Why?

Because these books contain two men that I try to exemplify (Jesus and David) and two that I want to DESPERATELY avoid becoming (Saul and David).

Let’s start with Jesus

Jesus is perfect. But I also think He’s hilarious. Look at this:

Homie literally said “I’ll only answer your question if you can answer mine” and walked away.

Absolute menace to society.

How often do we get asked hard questions, only to think we have to have all the answers?

Jesus was living proof that we, as Christians, are not here to answer every question in the universe. We are here to:

1. Show love to those who need it

2. Spread the GOSPEL (Matthew 28:19-20).

That’s it

Jesus was counter-culture, outspoken, kind, slow, and inquisitive. When He spoke he had authority because He earned it. He could have easily come in and started telling people what to do. But he didn’t. He sat down at tables and shared meals. He invested in those who were hungry for affection. He looked AT people instead of through them. He made eye contact and listened to their words.

Jesus was truly the greatest leader that has ever stepped on this Earth.

Here’s a few attributes of Jesus all men should strive to emulate:

• LOVE Your Mom

  • Call your mom. Talk to your mom. Listen to your mom. Care for your mom.

  • Having a loving relationship with your mother is one of the best experiences you can have in your life.

• LOVE your Father

  • Allow your father (or father figure) to teach and educate you. Some are not given the opportunity of having the best earthly Father, and I understand that. But we can all pick a “Father Figure.” This just takes effort and intentionality.

  • Reach out to older men in your church. Seek guidance. Pay for their lunch. You will find one that clicks and ask for them to mentor you (and then actually learn from them).

• Ask MORE Questions

  • Socially, this helps you have better conversations and worry less about “what to say” in situations.

  • Jesus asked over 300+ questions in the bible… guess how many He answered? (hint: it was three)

  • Ask your friends about Jesus. Ask people about their struggles. Ask them “why do you feel that way?” The more questions you ask, the more people will walk away feeling heard and cared for.

Our whole purpose as Christians is to become “Christ-like”, meaning: becoming more like Jesus.

Obviously, this is an impossible task on this earth. We will never become EXACTLY like him because He was perfect.
But through the process of continuous sanctification, we can strive to be closer to Jesus and be made fully righteous in death.

However, I believe these three attributes above are the BASIS to the process of becoming a Man of God.

Who to Avoid

If there’s one person in the Bible I do NOT want to emulate, it’s Saul.

He was insecure, selfish, and a people pleaser to a fault. He constantly chose his own way of doing things and typically opted to do what was best for himself rather than what was best for Israel.

Heck! When he was announced as KING by Samuel, instead of confidently introducing himself to his people, he chose to hide in a barrel.

Here’s a few habits Saul took that all Men should avoid:

• Constantly worrying about how others perceive you

• Blindly allowing emotions to determine your actions when things don’t go your way

• Always trying to prove to people that you are great, instead of just striving to be great

• Looking to others for guidance even when you have a clear line of communication with God

I used to feel confident as a leader. When I was 24, I was doing pretty well at my job with Boosterthon and I truly felt like I had genuine leadership characteristics. I wasn’t perfect, but I was improving.

Fast forward to February 2020. It’s a month before COVID shutdowns and I was in a new job, new city, new boss, and I have never felt more insecure about my leadership than in that moment.

I remember attending a worship night that was supposed to be for high schoolers and I just wept in the middle of the room. I pulled aside my friend, Christian Wilson (who was the student pastor at the time) and just told him through intermittent sobs how I felt:

I wasn’t good enough. I’ll never be good enough. I’m hopeless. I’m unorganized. I have no idea what I’m doing. My kids ministry was dwindling. Volunteers were dropping like flies. I was doing 90% of the work (because I had no clue how to delegate out a job that I didn’t know how to do) and I seemed to be doing everything wrong.

Christian looked me in the eyes and said to me “you’re doing a good job”

and that’s all that I needed. I could hear Jesus speaking to me through Christian that night.

But why do I include this?

Because I’ve seen a version of myself in Saul. I’ve been the man who shirks from leadership because of my own insecurity. I’ve been the coward who hides from others when opportunity is right in front me.

Look at this moment here; Samuel finds Saul and realizes this is the man God has chosen as Israel’s first King. Instead of responding with confidence and humility, Saul responds with fear and insecurity:

There’s plenty of “bad examples” in the Bible, but Saul is one I believe other men should avoid like the plague.

Becoming a Man after God’s Own Heart

King David. The quintessential Old Testament Golden Boy. This was the dude who had it all.

He had favor with the Lord, his lineage birthed Jesus, he conquered many nations, and was a straight up G.

David had many things we can emulate, but also carried around many mistakes that would go on to harm him in the future. So he bears a perfect balance of what we should strive for, as well as what we should avoid.

David, quite literally, started from the bottom. He was a shepherd and the youngest of twelve brothers. He was chosen to run errands when the big boys were off fighting. He had no qualities about him upon first glance that would warrant the thought of “that dude is a KING.”

God had different plans for him, but a big portion of WHY he was chosen to be king was his character while he was still a lowly shepherd boy. He spent time with the Lord and dwelled in Him.

Yet, even a “perfect” human can make mistakes.

As most know, he was an adulterer, a murderer, and a liar. But what stood out was his ability to repent and humble himself even after humiliating himself in front of his people and his God.

So here’s a few habits I look to David for when aiming to be a better man:

• Accept The Cave and Seek God

  • In life, we will be met with hard times. David had multiple moments in which he lived in the caves of the Judean countryside - accept it. Sit in the cave and seek God’s guidance and support.

• Make Art

  • David was a writer, a poet, and a musician. And all of it has stood the test of time in order to encourage the next legacy of believers.

  • The only things that outlast a man are the kids he has, the books he writes, the videos he creates, and the music he composes.

• Become Undignified

  • Outside of it being an absolute BANGER church camp song, David never took himself so seriously that he put himself above the Lord

  • Never fear making a fool of yourself (especially for the Lord)

AND here’s a few habits from David that I try to avoid:

• Sitting too long

  • Homie got used to sitting on the throne instead of going out to war with his troops. This resulted in the next habit.

• Relishing in your own works

  • David was overlooking ‘his’ kingdom when he saw Bathsheba. There’s a lesson there.

There’s a lot more to this and I definitely think this is a basic stepping stone. It’s certainly more than I thought I was going to write if I’m being honest.

Becoming a Man of God is something I’m still striving after. Something I can’t fully become but I can always aim to get closer to.

Our walk with the Lord is a continual (and relentless) work towards becoming more righteous and we are only truly sanctified when we are raised to life in Christ.

I feel very, very lucky in my life and I believe a lot of the blessings I experience are because I’ve had the Lord with me.

I’ll write more on this soon.

H.A.G.S. ✌🏼

🦕 Dino